[nice intro music] M: Ryan open up this one. R: [unsure] Okay. R: NO, it’s not a knife issue.
M: STOP. R: Oooh DAMN!
M: [happy] OH SHIT! R: What the fuck is this? M: [excited] Dude, this- I’ve talked about this before. This is one of my favorite games of all time. M: Remember I told this story, I think on a podcast. M: My neighbor crashed his car when I lent him this, so I never got the game back. R: [uneasy noise] Make sure you say ‘Thank you, Courtney.’ M: Thank you, Courtney! R: From three three on- [cuts off] M: They really taped this one on good. M: [exasperated sigh] CHRIST
R: [low] Aw, come on you got- R: [BURPS loudly] M: Can’t open this, dude! There’s so much tape on it! R: [Stop] fuckin’ pointing it at me! R: Purr Pals.
Both: For the Wii. M: Okay! We’ll play this, it looks a cat game for the Wii.
R: We’ll- [while Matt is talking] R: We’ll- We will more than likely play that. R: YAY! M: [slightly surprised] Oh, look a tampon! M: [softly] So, how do these work? Does this just- R: You have to-
M: [says something] R: Yeah, yeah.
Both: You push it out. R: Just kinda like clip, and then that..
M: [laughs] I don’t know! R: And there’s a little string hanging out of your pussy. M: Hey, that’s pretty cool. M: [enthusiastic] WHAT UP, BIG BOY? [shout from outside] R: [softly] Okay, here we go. M: [slightly louder than usual] It’s from Amanda from New York. R: [loud] FUCK! R: [happy] Dude!
M: [shocked, happy] OH SHIT! Both: [enthusiastic] YEAH! R: [excited] Tang for fuckin’ days! M: That’s some Tang! Thank you so much! R: Hey, Matt. R: [small fart] M: [sighs] That’s good. R: That is good. [gulp]
M: Awh. It’s been too long, my dear. M: This is a package. JESUS CHRIST, it’s heavy. This is from- Straight from Amazon, so.. R: Away from you, you nincompoop.
M: [tired] I don’t care. M: [in awe] WHOA. Holy shit. M: Are these just some fuckin’- M: JESUS CHRIST. M: [slightly loud] I’m gonna get diabetes, now! R: They don’t want us.. to be healthy. M: No. You’re sending us- you’re sending us Tang, you’re sending us candy. M: [curious] What is this? R: [upbeat] Ooh, a little cat food. M: [tsks humorously] It’s called pussy. M: It’s Norwegian cat food, and it’s called Pussi. R: [lightly, fades away] Ahh.. M: Squeeze a little pus- AHh! Look at that. R: [interested ooh] M: [lightly] Hey, buddy, want some of this? M: [surprised] Aw, shit!
R: [softly] You spill it on the floor? M: Yeah, it’s going on the floor.. R: [impatient] EAT IT, DUDE.
M: This smells awful. R: He’ll go after your, uh, fuckin’- Oh. M: [slightly angry] Asshole. This was a gift. M: [off screen] This really got everywhere. M: But, viewer from Norway, thank you for the Pussi.
R: [makes a sword noise] M: From Danny K. From.. Tugun- Tuhunga, Californ- To Tujunga, California. R: [softly] What. R: [gasps]
M: Holy shit. R: WHOA. M: [enthusiastic] WHOA. It’s like Christmas! R: What is this? Go! Go! Hypergrind? M: [softly, confused] What the fuck..
R: [starts laughing very loudly and happily] M: [happy, still confused] What is this?
R: [says ‘What the fuck?’ sill laughing, end with an ‘ehh’] M: [happy] It’s really well done.
R: [starts laughing again, and says ‘It is.’] [smacking sound of the paper]
R: Perfect. R: Go! Go! Hypergrind.
M: [high-pitched] What the fu- Look. R: [classic goofy Ryan laugh!] M: Hashtag fun for Louis is a tool. R: Another ga-
M: [slightly excited] Oh, hell yeah. R: [small laugh] What is that?
M: [excited] Hell yeah! R: What is it? M: It’s call Dream Club. It looks like a dating sim- It’s a dating sim! R: A dating sim for the what?
S: It’s in Japanese, though. R: Xbox 360?
M: Oh, we have Viewtiful Joe 2, a classic game. M: ‘Yo, dudes enjoy the games. Uh, I have a bunch of weeaboo games. I was gonna send, but it’s M: ‘a hundred dollars to send. I nif- I live near you guys, so I can drop it off.’ R: Thank you! R: What is this? [excited] A bunch of Nerds Rope! M: [slightly excited] What? No way.
R: [happy humph] Yeah. M: Is it really?
R: [high pitched] Yeah! R: I think you’ll have Nerds Rope for- [laughs]
M: Dude, I have a life times supply! M: [happy] Yo, dude!
R: There we go! R: H-He’s set, he’s set. Thank you.
M: [disappointed] Just spilled my Tang all over my shirt.. R: Uh-oh.. M: ‘Dear Matt and Ryan, We’re sorry that there was something wrong with your new Lego set. M: ‘The parts you need are in this letter, so you can get building and have fun.’ R: [laughs] What? Did someone put a complaint in our behave? M: Yeah.. Thank you.
R: [laughs] R: There he is… Thank you very much.
M: There he is. Thank you. [glass shattering] M: This one’s from FoolishCaptainKia. M: [in awe] Aw, shit.
R: Whoa! R: WHOA! R: SuperMega Thumbnails.
M: It’s a book! M: And she sent us some.. Canadian candy.
R: [quietly] What is this? M: This is the person that does our thumbnails, n’ our intro, n’ stuff. R: [struggling] Go follow them on Twitter, or Instagram, or Tumblr, or whatever. R: They look like little M&Ms.
M: Lemme- Let me try one. [moist mouth noises] R: She drew one for me with me and the Iron Giant because I love the Iron Giant. And, she drew.. M: Me with Animal Crossing ’cause I love Animal Crossing. M: [in awe] That is so fucking cool.
R: [in awe] That’s so fucking cool. M: A-And this is.. this is a little like art book she made with all the stuff she’s drawn for us. All of our poses.. M: Uh, different, like, art from the thumbnails she’s done for us. M: Kia, thank you so much. This is so cool. M: ‘From your Canadian artist-
R: Fuck you!’ M: [slams knife on package] Last package. M: This is from France M: Last one. M: [surprised] Shit!
R: [slightly confused] What the fuck? M: Whoa! God, I’m gonna get diabetes! R: Bunch of Frech candy.
M: [overwhelmed] Bunch of French snacks! R: Thank you very much, I recognize the name. [box pushed off the table] R: [semi-enthusiastic] So thanks to everyone who gave us some mail. We had a.. wonderful time opening it R: because we’re greedy bastards. If you would like to send us more mail, the PO box is at the end of this video. M: Stick around for the end. You’ll- [upbeat] Send us something fun! R: Or not. Byee! [nice outro song]