(wedding music) – SHUT UP! – Alright, dude, what’s going on? You always love your SpaghettiOs. – I don’t know. I just– I just feel like I’m missing something, you know? Do you think I need a girlfriend? – No, you need more than that. – A Fleshlight? – What?
– What? – No, what you need is a Russian mail-order bride. Check it out. Svetlana! Come on, we don’t got all day. Hey, honey, do you think you could give me a back rub? – (speaking Russian) – (in frustration) She always does that. LOOK. There. God. See, dude? My life is pretty much perfect now. – (in broken English) Help. Bad man, call police. – You’re right. I should go get one. Thanks, man! – Have fun. Alright, time for my leg waxing! I want this jungle of hair to be gone. (gunshot) Aw, man! (beep-beep) – Siri, find me a Russian mail order bride. – Did you mean Mail Order Bride, or Male Order Bride? – Uhhh, MAIL order bride. – Okay. Finding Russian Male Order Bride. – Thanks, Siri! (dramatic music) – I’m sorry, I do not understand what you mean by “Why is my poop green?” (doorbell rings) – Mail order bride day, Siri! – Ouch, that hurt, bitch! (steamy music) – (in broken English) Happy wedding day, my American love! – What the hell? – I am mail order bride Vladimir. – No, I- No, This is not what I asked for. – Too bad, I come in! – Mom, I’ll take out the trash later! Hold on, I’m getting another call. Hey dude, what’s up? – Dude, Anthony. My Russian mail order bride is a… man. – You spelled “Mail” wrong, didn’t you? – I bring you pot pie chicken! – DAMMIT VLADIMIR, I DON’T WANT YOUR STUPID FOOD! Hurry up, Anthony. He’s cooking me food and cleaning things and it’s really starting to piss me off! – Alright, I’ll be right over. – HEY, STOP THAT! – You like pedophile? (doorbell rings) – Alright, dude. So here’s what you gotta do if you wanna get r- – Wha-, who’s this? -My new mail order bride. – So you got a new one? – Yeah. I gone through several. – Then what happened to the others? – They died. (screaming) So anyway, if you wanna get rid of the Russian male order bride out there, you just have to challenge him to a Poovi Dipev. – What? – It’s Russian for Talent Show, idiot. You see, they have to accept all challenges of Poovi Dipev. – Sounds legit. – YOU STAY! – Alright, Vladimir, I challenge you to Poopy Diaper. – He means Poovi Dipev. – Uh…. yeah. – Anyway. If we win, you have to go back to your stupid Russia place. – I accept. Prepare to be lose! – God, his grammar sucks d*ck. – Привет. Hello. Today I sing Capitalist Pig American National Anthem. ♪ Oh, hey can it be, ♪ ♪ I like dogs and like bride. ♪ ♪ And my uncle Mikael ♪ ♪ said Twilight is good book. ♪ ♪ Aaaand laaaand oooof shiiiip ♪ ♪ and the (unintelligible, high-pitched) ♪ YOU GO NOW. YOU’RE GOING TO BE LOSE. – You ready for this? – Let’s do it! (dance pop music) – I cannot be lose. I CANNOT BE LOSE! They cannot send me back to Mother Russia. (gunshots fired, guys screaming) (laughing evilly) – HAH! You just shot our stunt doubles! (dramatic chords, flies buzzing) – I cannot believe I am lose. – OK, Vladimir, I’ll let you stay… (creepy voice) on one condition! (laughing evilly again) – I love America! – I love being married! – I love peeing in water balloons! – What?
– What? – WHAT?! – To see an alternate ending and bloopers, click the link in the description below! – Kill shot right here. (gunshot) – Thank you for the subscribings! I like it very much!